Tuesday, 18 September 2012

Barfi and other things about love...

Contains spoilers on Barfi!

I’m pretty sure that mine will not be the first and definitely not the last of blog posts on the recently released Barfi. However, I’ll try not to harp on the usual fare. That the film was directed and shot beautifully, and the performances were fantastic cannot be denied. In fact, this has only been emphatically endorsed by everyone who has watched the film. Ranbir, without saying a word, has proved his mettle beyond belief and Priyanka, once again, proves that she is much more than just eye candy. Her poignant portrayal of an autistic girl perfectly complemented Ranbir’s prowess. Ileana too, makes an impressive debut – she really is very pretty, but oh-so skinny!

It’s the story and the finer nuances of the film that got to me. That it was shot in Kolkata and Darjeeling was nostalgia-inducing for me. After watching the film, the desire to go home for the pujos has skyrocketed. But alas. However, it was the love story between Barfi and Jhilmil (I’m falling in love with that name) that has struck a chord.

This comes in the wake of a tsunami of break-ups and heartache. Speaking to a friend, who is unfortunately facing a similar fate, she told me that the count of casualties in the last few days is up to seven. Seven pairs of people ending relationships for myriad reasons. Fourteen people who, at some point, could not get enough of their better halves, missed them sorely, and felt incomplete till they heard their voice, have all decided to go their separate ways. Some have got their closure while most others, I suspect (including myself) have not.

After Jhilmil thinks Barfi has fallen asleep, she quickly hooks her pinky with his. She can then sleep at peace. Even on their death bed, she hooks their pinkies together again and off they go, into a new universe of their own. This is honestly the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in a while, on celluloid and off. Lame as I am, even as I’m thinking of it, I’m tearing up. Haven’t we all done this, or a form of this at some point? Waited for him/her to pass out and then quietly wrapped your arm around his/her waist. Or lightly entwine your legs. Or fit your hand into his/her, which is around you anyway. Human touch. So powerful. Hugs, kisses, hand-holding, etc. Often words are not necessary. And even I’m saying this, despite the fact that many state (I’m not sure I agree entirely) that I talk a lot. Yes, I do believe in open, honest communication. I also believe that it’s important to say that you love a person out loud—it’s not enough just to feel it. And yet, if I can’t sleep without hooking my pinky to yours, or if I wait for you to start snoring to bury my face in your back, do I really need to still reiterate my love for you?

Such a strange word this love is, no? Do you think Jhilmil even knew that she was in love with Barfi? But she too felt jealousy. When he finally finds her at the end of the film, they do their little forehead-to-forehead thingy. But then suddenly Jhilmil sees Shruti behind Barfi, and quietly comes and stands in front of him, marking her territory. Second most favourite moment in the film.

Some of the recent reactions I’ve received for my blog posts are “brave” and “you wrote what I’ve been feeling” (regarding Girl interrupted, everyday). People wonder how I can write about such personal stuff on such a public platform. But honestly, isn’t it what we’re all thinking or feeling? Don’t we all suffer from homesickness, heartbreak and fear? Haven’t we all, at some point or the other, been so crazy in love that we wanted to die in that person’s arms? I’m a writer—not just by profession but seriously, this is the only thing I can do, the only thing I’m vaguely good at. How can I not write about this stuff? If you enjoy reading my blog and feel a connect, then half my battle is won.

Barfi made me realise that no matter what the circumstances are in your life, it is possible to fall in love. No matter how many times your heart has been trampled on, you can still feel butterflies in your stomach. And that, although in the real world, you need communication, compatibility etc. etc., to sustain and maintain a healthy relationship, sometimes, honestly, at the risk of sounding extremely lame and filmy, all you need is love. I’m just a girl... standing in front of a boy... remember?

Watch Barfi. Really. Watch it.  


  1. This might be a Hindi movie I actually watch.

    I love that it makes you sound so hopeful and non-cynical about love :) But I've been thinking of late that love only happens when we let it (like cooking, or procrastination). I look back on the last year, and there are definitely one or two women I could have fallen in love with...but I didn't. Those times when I would have been thinking about someone, I just wasn't...I suppose I don't let myself, and it happens so automagically that I don't really notice it when it's happening. Maybe when you get too damaged, you stop letting it happen?

    Besides, I'm not sure I have the time. Remembering how to be happy by myself is a full-time job, and I have to motorcycle camp through India for the next 2-3 months; I'm probably too awesome to date.

  2. I don't quite agree with you. Love, like attraction and sorrow, cannot be controlled. You can't 'let' love happens - it happens to you. If we could only fall in love when we let ourselves, oh man, the world would be a much better place. Maybe those few women were interesting, but not enough for you to fall in love. Also, it's important to stop being in love with one person before you can fall in love with another - I think.

    Haha, yes I'm *sure* you're too awesome to date. This motorcycle trip is clearly *all* we're gonna hear about for a long time now. :P :)

  3. You didn't say "kopal"?

    For the first time in my life, I think I know myself so little that I honestly have no idea if I've stopped being in love, ever was in love, or could be in love, etc...I feel like I don't really know how to think about it any more. No frames of reference.

    And I'm not sure I like the idea of love happening to me and being beyond my control. I prefer happening to people.

    Of course you're going to hear about it. I need you all to know how awesome it is. Then next time you'll come with?

  4. Hey Boi,

    I know we are not in touch since a long time and you do not know what all has happened in my life. But this post of yours made me rethink over the way is see my life.

    Good Read. :)

    1. Thank you :) Well life gets tough for us all, I guess we just gotta fight on! Hope all's well xx